


Knowing

by hestherewithme



Series: Collection of Random Crisscolfer Drabbles. [1]
Category: Glee, Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-01-26 04:50:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1675322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hestherewithme/pseuds/hestherewithme





	Knowing

Darren hit his head on the pillow underneath him, pulling Chris from where he was, upwards and closer to himself. Chris offered him a kiss which he gladly accepted with a smile. After a few off-center pecks, he laid down right next to him, stretching his legs and yawning simultaneously, indicating just how exhausted he was. 

With a content sigh, Darren turned to face his boyfriend, both of them sharing a pillow since the other seemed to have gotten knocked off somewhere on the floor. They were both too lazy to get up to look for it and were pretty comfortable right now, so there were no complaints. Just a lot of staring, especially on Darren’s part. Which Chris must have noticed, because he asked, “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” Darren replied without hesitation. He heard Chris take in a sudden breath, and then he caught him smirking, clearly unaware of how deep Darren’s thoughts actually were. 

“Yeah? Care to disclose any of those thoughts about me?” Chris said, intending to be flirty. 

“There are way too many,” Darren said. “Too many to put into a few sentences.”

“We have time. I don’t have a meeting until tomorrow afternoon, and you said you cleared your schedule, so you were staying the night anyway.”

“You so sure it’s gonna take that long?” Darren asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“If you wanna stay in this bed, your reflection of me needs to last at least till either of us falls asleep.” Chris joked. 

Darren chuckled, Chris was going to get his way in the end. He might as well give up now. So he decided to speak his mind, or rather his heart. He’d say all that he was thinking. just like how he wrote his songs. Full of unrestrained truth. 

Taking a deep breath, he began, fully aware that Chris was not going to expect any of this. 

“Where do I start? Um...I was thinking about how you were made for me. Not like in a sense where I own you. But in a way which everything you do. Everything you are is perfect for me. Every action, every part of your being. Everything.” 

As he spoke, he closed his eyes. He knew Chris was listening. He knew if he looked at Chris, upon seeing his expression, he wouldn’t be able to control his emotions and most likely kiss him senseless. But he couldn’t, he still had quite a few things he wanted to say. 

“It’s as if every element in the universe took my thoughts and deepest desires and passions into account, and created you, someone I could find all that in. And more. You aren’t just everything I want and need in a person. The things you do, they make me realize that I love those things just because I see  _you_  doing them. And I wouldn’t love those habits if they were done by anyone else.”

He felt Chris pull his hand towards him, intertwining his fingers with Darren’s and resting them on his chest. Squeezing them lightly, urging him to go on.

“It’s weird too because I recognize all these things about you, I relate and compare and agree with so much you do or say, I sometimes feel like I was born knowing everything about you. And then there are times where you surprise me. Where you give an answer or do something, that astounds me. In the best way possible. Because I get to learn something and fall in love with that, too. And I’m not completely sure which I prefer more.”

He could feel Chris’ heartbeat speed up, where their hands lay connected. So he continued.

“And then I just think of all the things that led me to you. All the factors that played a part. How sometimes I can’t believe that I get to have this. That I get to have you. And it makes me feel so- so complete. It’s like when I think about my life in this aspect. I feel so accomplished. There’s a lot I want to do in this world. Sometimes I get these crazy ideas about all the changes I’d like to bring, and what I wanna share with everyone. And fuck, Chris...There are so many things. I get scared that I won't be able to do it all. But this part of my life.-” he paused, trying not to choke up here. 

He moved toward Chris, eyes still shut, relying on the sensation of Chris’ body heat and the sound of his breathing.

“ _You_. It’s perfect.” he finished, finally opening his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was how close he was to Chris. And how Chris had made no attempt to move from his place. Their noses slightly brushed against the other’s every time one of them exhaled. He looked up at Chris, whose tears were threatening to spill, yet he had the biggest smile on his face. 

Darren didn’t know which of those responses he should be more proud of. Chris crying was never easy to handle, even during filming. But this time he definitely didn’t have any regrets, because this was Chris’ reaction to him pouring his heart out. Only a fraction of it. 

He wondered if he could ever truly describe every little emotion he had ever felt about Chris. The heightened sensations around him, whether they were lust, admiration, or pure love. He unintentionally followed Chris’ action of tearing up, giving Chris the indication that he wasn’t the only one who was currently overwhelmed.

“I love you so much.” Chris breathed quietly. Just for the two of them to catch. To Darren, it was as fulfilling as if Chris was shouting it loud enough for the entire universe to hear.

“God. I love you so much," he repeated once more. "What you said. Everything. I know. I swear I know. And when I write, I love writing, but I write ideas, not my feelings. And I want you to realize, just because I don’t say it in that eloquent, open method of yours, doesn’t mean I don’t feel it too.” Chris explained.

Darren grinned in response. Chris had a need to ground every situation as soon as he could. So he could be in control of what was going on. To have a sense of being part of it, and showing as much spirit in whatever occurred. In case the opposite was ever assumed. Darren consoled him immediately. With a small kiss. And a few words. 

“I know that. And I love that about you. You don’t ever need to say anything. It’s there. I feel it every day. It’s how I could say all that I just did without being afraid. And I love you too.” he finished, his smile giving Chris the rest of the assurance needed. 

They continued a conversation after that, but the world wouldn’t know of it. It was exchanged in the longing gaze they held with each other, before they fell asleep, lying intimately close together.  _Knowing_  without a doubt, that they had found what they were meant to, with each other. 

 


End file.
